Prayers and warm thoughts needed

Anyone spiritual enough, if you could have few seconds of time, please keep my marriage in your prayers and thoughts. And if not spiritual, keep it still.

I have had a long run with my wife. We have two great daughters and we have played a team play in marriage and in being father and mother.

My wife is a person I have always respected and loved. I have had my trials with my mental health and she have stayed by my side supporting me. She is now tired. I have been in good shape for a long time, I have been in therapy and kept my sleeping rhythm, kept my work rhyhtm in order, saving time for my family.

But I am also adhd and the problems that are causing are now pulling us down.

She is tired and is close on giving up with me. And I am tired and close on giving up on us.

That is something I don´t want to do, but I'm struggling with being true to myself and to my wife. Adhd is not apart of my personality, it is something that I am. It is something that just can't be erased of me. It can be dealt with. But we are both tired.

I just hope we could just pass this test and carry on, be gracefull.

Will do man, Im ADD but wife thinks I could be ADHD my brother is ADHD so I understand the struggle is very real. I'll keep you in prayer nothing more draining than fighting a battle with yourself on things that are imprinted on you. (I speak from experience)

Are you taking any medications for it? If so maybe an adjustment is needed? I know you said that you have had a good long run of being ok but something must of happened for her to express this to you.

Sending prayers..........

I definitely relate to the mental illness, as I suffer from depression and anxiety. I can also somewhat relate to ADHD.

My wife and I have had struggles in our marriage. I don't think marriage was ever meant to be easy. It is meant to be something you continually work at. I'm not saying you are, but I think many people these days treat their marriages as disposable. It really saddens me as my wife and I have really worked to get where we are. It's not that every day is perfect; we still need to work at it, but we work at it together. I will pray for you and I want to encourage you to keep trying, to be selfless and give of yourself, even if you don't see immediate results.

will do! Marriage is tough (that is what my wife says)

I will pray for you and your family..I have been married for 40 years this sept. WE had our ups and downs but have worked thru them..Have you thought about maybe taking a weekend just you and your wife for some alone time. THis is a hard time for lots of marriages.. let us know how things are as i will be thinking about you and this situation.

Thanks to all. We are not giving up.. She is tired, because she loves me, but the things in our life have just dropped her down and she has not given up to them. Fighting is tiring.

Warzawa wrote:

Will do man, Im ADD but wife thinks I could be ADHD my brother is ADHD so I understand the struggle is very real.  I'll keep you in prayer nothing more draining than fighting a battle with yourself on things that are imprinted on you. (I speak from experience)

Are you taking any medications for it? If so maybe an adjustment is needed? I know you said that you have had a good long run of being ok but something must of happened for her to express this to you.

I had Concerta, but it caused me deppression and the loss of appetite and affected my sleeping. My therapist thinks that it was propably one reason for my last serious drop in my mood. My doctor ordered me to stop using it and we are now doing things with the routine that I do a lot outdoors (because natural stimulus helps the symptoms... this is one of the reasons I'm still running ), sleeping routine and and low fat and less sugar diet. I´m meeting her again in may and we are thinking other medications and checking out if this natural medication works. It is kind of a puzzle to find the correct pieces to it.

I got my diagnose as an adult. I have always been restless.

onebigfish wrote:

I definitely relate to the mental illness, as I suffer from depression and anxiety. I can also somewhat relate to ADHD.

My wife and I have had struggles in our marriage. I don't think marriage was ever meant to be easy. It is meant to be something you continually work at. I'm not saying you are, but I think many people these days treat their marriages as disposable. It really saddens me as my wife and I have really worked to get where we are. It's not that every day is perfect; we still need to work at it, but we work at it together. I will pray for you and I want to encourage you to keep trying, to be selfless and give of yourself, even if you don't see immediate results.

Thanks bro. I agree with your words. We are... just tired. And when you are tired you want to get an easy way out. But the easy is not the right way. Me and my wife, we know it. We love each other, but we have just now to find the way to cope this moment.

For sure. It is tiring. I will be praying and thinking of you.

I have been praying.

hoping things work out.

Warm thank you of all comments and thoughts.

We are here. I have given my wife her own time to rest (taking care our household, done a lot of trips with kids etc) so that she can sleep and read and take time to herself. She is feeling better and I think we are in a good spot.

Her parents are now vaccinated so the next step will be driving kids to them for a weekend withing next weeks so that we can have our own time together to speak and get our hearts to same beat.

I'm hoping we can do this, but when things go bad, it takes time to get them right.

Yes things take time but sounds like you are off to a good start.

How are things at home

Yes, I hope things are improving.

We are still living at the same house

I got out of social media and this board for some time to work some things out. We recently had a nice weekend just two of us.. remembering what it is like to be a couple and not just parents (though we love our kids more than words can describe).

And you know. It felt easy and relaxed and we realized that we haven´t gone too far. We are still the same couple we used to be, even we are not quite the same. We made some promises to each other to keep better care of our relationship and each other.

There is still things to be dealt with, but I think we are passing this through.

I am meeting my doc wednesday to talk about my condition and if there is anything more to with it. Propably we will be discussing about what meds I should be trying.

It frustrates me. I have never been anti-meds person, but I´ve been critical of over medication. And with my case, it is now kinda shooting and checking if we missed or hit. You get my idea?

My wife is pushing me to get my medication right. She is psychologist, maybe she knows what she is talking about.

But.. the good thing is. Summer is here and the amount of light have increased tons and it keeps uplifting my mood.

I have spent some really cool days taking my kids out to the lake fishing pike, and man it´s been fun!!

Glad you got a weekend for yourselves. Its important to take time for you and your spouse. I know we love th elids but tis nice to not be a parent for a few days or even hours.

BloodDivine wrote:

We are still living at the same house

I got out of social media and this board for some time to work some things out. We recently had a nice weekend just two of us.. remembering what it is like to be a couple and not just parents (though we love our kids more than words can describe).

And you know. It felt easy and relaxed and we realized that we haven´t gone too far. We are still the same couple we used to be, even we are not quite the same. We made some promises to each other to keep better care of our relationship and each other.

There is still things to be dealt with, but I think we are passing this through.

I am meeting my doc wednesday to talk about my condition and if there is anything more to with it. Propably we will be discussing about what meds I should be trying.

It frustrates me. I have never been anti-meds person, but I´ve been critical of over medication. And with my case, it is now kinda shooting and checking if we missed or hit. You get my idea?

I know how you feel regarding the kids and getting away with your wife for a bit. Sometimes my wife and I just need to get away for even an evening together.

And I know exactly what you mean with medication. I've always found that medication for this sort of thing you and I deal with is kind of a "trial and error" thing. Maybe one day they will develop a test that says "your body is low these chemicals so it needs this medication."

BloodDivine wrote:

My wife is pushing me to get my medication right. She is psychologist, maybe she knows what she is talking about.

But.. the good thing is. Summer is here and the amount of light have increased tons and it keeps uplifting my mood.

I have spent some really cool days taking my kids out to the lake fishing pike, and man it´s been fun!!

More fishing = better mood

onebigfish wrote:

More fishing = better mood

You got that right bro.

onebigfish wrote:

And I know exactly what you mean with medication. I've always found that medication for this sort of thing you and I deal with is kind of a "trial and error" thing. Maybe one day they will develop a test that says "your body is low these chemicals so it needs this medication."

You mean those nanobots cruising around your system, testing your bloodpressure and monitoring you brain chemistry?

I could use that. I had some really good days and then couple of shitty days, when all I wanted to do was to sleep.

But even those days I kept my body moving and spent a lot time outside. My younger daughter started to play football (soccer) and I have played ball with her and been driving her to soccer practices and been watching practices... so... I have dealt the bad days with keeping myself busy.

No medication. My doctor is not sure what to do, so she took a little time to think it over. There will propably be some soon, but she didn´t want to experiment and wanted to ask from a more experienced colleague. So my instructions are: keep your sleeping routine, eat well, do a lot outdoors (because natural stimulus is easing the adhd)... I´m trying to keep these actions clear.

Yeah, those things!

I'm glad your doctor is wanting to seek more advice. That's better than someone who just wants to "try this first". And her advice about routine, eating, and fresh air is definitely good advice.

onebigfish wrote:

Yeah, those things!

I'm glad your doctor is wanting to seek more advice. That's better than someone who just wants to "try this first". And her advice about routine, eating, and fresh air is definitely good advice.

It is a good advice. We are now having light all around the clock and it is tricking me to be awake. I love these summer nights, but I should have to keep my head calm and go to sleep with routine. This evening it is not functioning. It is 2 a clock am and I´m still awake.

that must be weird to have sunlight all day and all night . DO you have room darkening curtains

Eilene1015 wrote:

that must be weird to have sunlight all day and all night . DO you have room darkening curtains

We have. But when the night is so clear, it is almost impossible to lock it away. My problem isn´t the amount of actual light, but more of the understanding that the light is there all night long. It tricks me to want to stay awake. I don´t know how to express it.

Eilene. When I´m typing this, the clock is 2.05 am. I took this shot with my cellphone from my front yard. This is my street, and this is the "darkest" time of the day in my area at this time of the year. Sun is hanging low, it is behind the trees, but it is starting to slowly rise.

I have been keeping my sleeping routine, but this night I decided to have couple beers at my back yard terrace and enjoy the nightles night. I don´t do this often, but some times. This is our midsummer.

THats crazy..Thx for sharing this..I cant believe how light it is..In the winter you will have to send a pic of the darkness. Nice area you live in

How are things with the family situation?

I love the 24-hour daylight. We don't get it where I live, but when I go up to the Arctic in the summers it is there. I have so much more energy.