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onebigfish
Metal Fisherman
Posts: : 28772
Age : 52
Location : Canada
 |  Subject: Re: Puns  Wed Feb 24, 2021 8:56 am | |
| A farmer is also someone who is outstanding in his field.
_________________
Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
John Wayne
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MoonChild
Guru of True Metal
Posts: : 22813
Age : 51
Location : Kochi, India
| | Subject: Re: Puns Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:39 am | |
| hahaha good one.
_________________
Take my hand and we'll go riding through the sunshine from above
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exact33
TheKing
Posts: : 6661
Age : 50
Location : Maryland, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Thu Feb 25, 2021 7:32 pm | |
| - MoonChild wrote:
- Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field.
what did he say when he accepted his award? Hay! Its in my jeans! | |
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exact33
TheKing
Posts: : 6661
Age : 50
Location : Maryland, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Thu Feb 25, 2021 7:33 pm | |
| Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He took a day off!
Why did he get fired from the keyboard factory?
He put in too many shifts! | |
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MoonChild
Guru of True Metal
Posts: : 22813
Age : 51
Location : Kochi, India
| | Subject: Re: Puns Sun Feb 28, 2021 9:10 pm | |
| No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
_________________
Take my hand and we'll go riding through the sunshine from above
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onebigfish
Metal Fisherman
Posts: : 28772
Age : 52
Location : Canada
| | Subject: Re: Puns Mon Mar 01, 2021 8:27 am | |
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_________________
Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
John Wayne
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MoonChild
Guru of True Metal
Posts: : 22813
Age : 51
Location : Kochi, India
| | Subject: Re: Puns Mon Mar 01, 2021 10:43 am | |
| When cartoonists play sports the games are usually drawn.
_________________
Take my hand and we'll go riding through the sunshine from above
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exact33
TheKing
Posts: : 6661
Age : 50
Location : Maryland, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Sat Mar 06, 2021 4:06 pm | |
| Where do you learn to cut wood? A boarding school.
Why do people say "break a leg" when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast. | |
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onebigfish
Metal Fisherman
Posts: : 28772
Age : 52
Location : Canada
| | Subject: Re: Puns Thu Mar 11, 2021 10:05 am | |
| Groan...
Crushing cans is soda pressing.
_________________
Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
John Wayne
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exact33
TheKing
Posts: : 6661
Age : 50
Location : Maryland, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Sat Mar 13, 2021 3:31 pm | |
| i lost my job as a movie director. i left without making a scene.
Why did the pirate captain get a bird when he saw all his rivals had them? He wanted to achieve competitive parrot-y
Dad, can you explain what a solar eclipse is? No son.
My mom wanted to plant some flowers last weekend but she hadn’t botany
Someone removed the fifth month from all my calendars. This has left me seriously.....dismayed
The Dr. told me I'd gone deaf. The news was hard to hear.
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tohostudios
Sleaze Pleaze
Posts: : 29550
Age : 63
Location : Missouri, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Sat Mar 13, 2021 6:05 pm | |
| - exact33 wrote:
- i lost my job as a movie director. i left without making a scene.
Why did the pirate captain get a bird when he saw all his rivals had them? He wanted to achieve competitive parrot-y
Dad, can you explain what a solar eclipse is? No son.
My mom wanted to plant some flowers last weekend but she hadn’t botany
Someone removed the fifth month from all my calendars. This has left me seriously.....dismayed
The Dr. told me I'd gone deaf. The news was hard to hear.
On MLB Network those are called "Dad Jokes" and several of the regular contributors love them You should find an email address for John Smoltz and send him those.
_________________
"When a man loves cats I am his friend and comrade without further introduction." - Mark Twain
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onebigfish
Metal Fisherman
Posts: : 28772
Age : 52
Location : Canada
| | Subject: Re: Puns Mon Mar 15, 2021 8:31 am | |
| I love dad jokes. I especially love telling them and watching my kids cringe.
Crushing pop cans is soda pressing.
I had this dream the other night that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
_________________
Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
John Wayne
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onebigfish
Metal Fisherman
Posts: : 28772
Age : 52
Location : Canada
| | Subject: Re: Puns Wed Mar 17, 2021 8:22 am | |
| Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are so good at it.
Apparently the first French fries were not cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
_________________
Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
John Wayne
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exact33
TheKing
Posts: : 6661
Age : 50
Location : Maryland, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Sat Aug 07, 2021 2:58 pm | |
| So I published my first edition of dad jokes on Amazon on the Kindle! I have sold 6 copies, including a few in Australia! I am working on my next edition  | |
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tohostudios
Sleaze Pleaze
Posts: : 29550
Age : 63
Location : Missouri, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Sat Aug 07, 2021 7:40 pm | |
| A "next edition"???? Good Lord, what's the title, "1001 Apologies For The First Edition"? 
_________________
"When a man loves cats I am his friend and comrade without further introduction." - Mark Twain
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exact33
TheKing
Posts: : 6661
Age : 50
Location : Maryland, USA
| | Subject: Re: Puns Sun Aug 08, 2021 11:39 am | |
| LOL!
I am not letting you title my next edition! | |
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Eilene1015
Jammin' Jem
Posts: : 17480
Age : 63
Location : New Jersey
| | Subject: Re: Puns Tue Aug 10, 2021 7:56 am | |
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onebigfish
Metal Fisherman
Posts: : 28772
Age : 52
Location : Canada
| | Subject: Re: Puns Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:24 am | |
| That's great! I love dad jokes. I didn't know that "dad joke" had been added to the dictionary.
_________________
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John Wayne
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