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 Me, My World, and How I am Doing

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Addy
The Starman
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Posts: : 9760
Age : 44
Location : Monson, Massachusetts

PostSubject: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Wed Jul 18, 2018 8:29 am

this is to answer BD's question, the short answer is ive been ok, just working, being a dad and working on any creative outlets that I can, well sleep too.

I have a few prayer requests

1) My wife interviewed for a job that would be perfect for her, full time, shes qualified for, its closer to home, so less gas and wear and tear on the cars. She should know next week if she will get it or not. We really need for her to get this job as a 2nd full time income would be a life changer

2) My family (my folks, brother, niece) My niece who lived in VA comes up for the summer, and spends most of the summer with my brother. Normally when my brother gets her, she is dirty, grubby, old clothes, no undergarments (shes 13) , shes had poor health and gained like 60 lbs in just a few months. Her mother is not a fit person, alot of issues and suspicions, well things have escalated to a new level....

Apparently the mother had been cheating on her live in boyfriend, she had been committed for observation for "Suicide glorification" while there she shacked up to a guy there. Either she told my niece about it or something but the end result is my niece told the boyfriend. Who broke up with the mother and then knowing my brother from dealings involving my niece reached out to him via fb chat or something like that and brought alot of things into light. Bad enough that my father dropped 3k into a lawyer for my brother so he could fight for full custody with the revoking the rights of the mother.

My niece had been diagnosed with fatty liver disease recently and we couldnt understand why or how that her diet must have been BAD to get it at such a young age. Only to learn recently that since 7 her mother would give her alcohol and pot not a wine cooler or beer, but Straight Vodka 7 YEARS OLD!!!!!! Plus the mother is using Heroin and Meth, I wish my niece told that part to the Social Family services when she had her interview with them on monday . Criminal charges should be leveled towards the mother. Anyways the first hearing was July 5th my brother and his ex have shared joint custody right now but my brother is the primary (the ex was the primary before) The next hearing is August 9th

Since shes been living with my brother and parents shes been happier than I have ever seen her shes lost 20 lbs but its also been causing a strain on my family mainly with my future sister in law, brother and my mother. Mainly my mother on both of them. I understand my mother but trying to explain what shes feeling is hard. Of course my future sis in law talks with my wife so my wife isnt keen on seeing my parents, I feel shes hyper-critical esp when my daughter is concerned but.... thats another battle. Again I know how my mother operates and thinks, Im very similar so I get it but trying to explain it is very difficult. I think once this battle is done that tensions will lessen a bit, but the bottom line is my mother has been a mother figure to my niece for years and now my future sis in law is stepping up to be a mother figure as one day she will be her stepmother or even adoptive mother (depending on outcome) They are close, my niece doesnt even really like her biological mother much and who can blame her.

The Ex had no lawyer at the hearing and she told my niece shes not going to move back to CT and that on 8/3 she is going back to VA so chances are she wont be at the hearing. And of course all findings have to be reported to the VA family services too. I think shes wisened up in the fact if she goes on 8/9 she probably wont go home but to a cell

This whole situation is beyond heart breaking, I cant help but feel badder than bad for her, when she was younger we were close. I loved her like she was mine, and I still do, she'll always be my first niece and only blood related one. Shes a good smart kid. I cant help but hug my own daughter tighter and feel rage and fury towards the Ex of my brother. I honestly think id have no control because my baser instinct well you might get the idea... I wouldnt be surprised if she ended up committing suicide , while i wouldnt shed a tear i wouldnt open any champaigne either. On top of all this, my wife is complaining that my mother wasnt engaging with my daughter when we were there saturday. My father was but mentioned he was off too.. I was like of course they are look at the situation!!!!!! My father deals with stress better than my mother. But he played with my daughter , but she is always stand offish to my mother i dont know if its cuz she tries too hard or what but its added stress, on top of her own folks having nothing really to do with her either, but OH their 5 year old grandchild and 1 1/2 grandson they dote and spoil and everything, just breaks my heart.....

so this is what ive been going through the last month

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onebigfish
Metal Fisherman
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Age : 46
Location : Canada

PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Wed Jul 18, 2018 12:06 pm

Will pray for the best, especially for your niece.

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Eilene1015
Jammin' Jem
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Age : 57
Location : New Jersey

PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Wed Jul 18, 2018 1:23 pm

Wow that is really a shame about your niece..How can a mother be so cruel or any person for that matter..I will pray for your whole family..That must hvae been hard for you to write.
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Eilene1015
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PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Wed Jul 18, 2018 1:27 pm

Hoping you wife gets the job will help out with the bills
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BloodDivine
Skull & Bones & Rock N Roll
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PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Wed Jul 18, 2018 3:56 pm

Thanks for writing this. I feel really bad for your niece. I'll definitely pray her and all people around this.

Getting straight vodka from 7 years old!!!! In my past life before I went working for church (that´s long time a go before I started my journalism-studies and changed my career) I worked one period at social services at the area of child care. I saw a lot of cruelty against children, but it still hits me to read things like this. Maybe it is because I now have own kids, it comes kinda closer.

I hope the situation gets clearer, for all parties.

And I pray for your wife, that she´ll gets the job. It really would ease your own family's stress.

Thanks for sharing bro. Hard times you'll having.
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Addy
The Starman
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Age : 44
Location : Monson, Massachusetts

PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Thu Jul 19, 2018 6:28 am

Thanks everybody

Yeah her mother is very disconnected from reality, I never really liked her and i see my gut was justified even more so recently. It's very hard to think about the situation let alone write about it, because i think why couldn't I have picked up on it sooner and try to do something about it. Even before alot of this came to light i couldnt talk about my niece's living situation without feeling extreme anger, and helplessness

Shes definitely in a better situation now, now I just hope she can cut her junkie mother out forever.
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onebigfish
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PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Thu Jul 19, 2018 8:18 am

There is not much that sets me off more than children being abused or mistreated.

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Addy
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Age : 44
Location : Monson, Massachusetts

PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:44 am

Update

On thursday my brother had his hearing, they still have joint custody but most of the mother's rights were stripped, in other words she can only visit when she is in town and it has to be supervised. My brother has primary and sole custody , the best i could understand it. They are throwing a celebration next month to celebrate which my niece needs, as nothing was made a big deal for her when living in VA like birthdays, holidays, etc. So my brother is determined to give her good holidays and make it a big deal. My brother and his fiancee are hoping to move closer to me and my wife which would be so awesome, would be nice to have family close by plus my brother and I dont see much of each other and we both want to change that. So I'm really liking this idea. With the custody battle over , they can now focus on that and getting on with their lives.

I am glad God heard the prayers, my niece is a good kid and never deserved what she went through, I only pray that she grows stronger by this and doesnt become defined by it.

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onebigfish
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PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Yesterday at 8:57 am

Praise the Lord for this great outcome. I think it's about the best that could have happened.

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Eilene1015
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Location : New Jersey

PostSubject: Re: Me, My World, and How I am Doing   Yesterday at 9:00 am

Thats great news for you and to have family close by is good for you too
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