Depression got me

onebigfish wrote:

That sounds like a pretty heavy load.  I'm glad you can at least shed some of it when you get home.

Especially when the kiddo pulls a stunt like saying a new word for the first time with just me around to witness and hear it those are always awesome

Eliene- No clue I think I need a full on complete change, job, finances, stress, diet, lifestyle, etc oh and a very long vacation

You definitely do need those changes. When everything stops working as it should then it's definitely time for changes.

I think I am in that boat too. I have been feeling over stressed and mentally fragile for a few months now and it is finally cracking me. I been under too much stress for too long, compounded with childhood traumas, PTSD from 6 years ago and having to carry the load for myself and others and the stress is killing me. I hate work and what I do when I used to love it and hate everything lately.

I definitely need big changes. A vacation followed by a change in finances, lifestyle, where I live, new career ect. Just a whole new life would be great.

Stress can certainly exacerbate depression/anxiety/any other form of mental illness.

I feel for all who suffer..I dont suffer, but I have/had family suffer and its hard

I feel sad hearing your stories. I can relate to them. When you feel you have too much to carry, you are near the boundaries built up for human being to be a whole person. Stress doesn´t support productivity nor happiness.

I pray for you.

I have been feeling a lot better lately. I started sports-programme and been losing some weight. And that has been improving my wellfare.

Addy. Can you have a complete change? And if you can´t, what is the thing you can change? Can you start building something new brick by brick?

I find getting outdoors and getting some sunshine, fresh air, and activity helps me. It's something I need to do quite often.

That doesn't help me, when it gets warmer i start becoming a fancy feast for bugs between that and allergies outdoors is not a pleasant experience generally

As for the things I can change everything seems to be narrowed down to money. Money to take a vacation, money to improve my lifestyle, money to eat healthier (cuz it aint cheap), money to go back to school for training in what i want to do. The only one that is not money dependant is stress, i cant lessen the amt but ive been trying to handle stress better, i have no coping skills, very poor stress management maybe because its always like 6 to 7 things all at once. its never 1 or 2 things

Better stress management could allow you to deal with the other issues more effectively.

Addy wrote:

As for the things I can change everything seems to be narrowed down to money.  Money to take a vacation, money to improve my lifestyle, money to eat healthier (cuz it aint cheap), money to go back to school for training in what i want to do.  The only one that is not money dependant is stress, i cant lessen the amt but ive been trying to handle stress better, i have no coping skills, very poor stress management maybe because its always like 6 to 7 things all at once. its never 1 or 2 things

Yeah. The money-issue is bad. I can relate to that. My being away from work happened from my wifes pocket. I´m glad she carried that burden to help me back on my feet. It helped us to survive and to balance things. But I know that many people don´t have that option. I´m also glad that our society where I live supports people who take therapy and gets counseling.

Is there any way you can take things a little slower and deal with lesser things at the same time?

Hey! Back here. I have now returned fully to working and that is the reason I took hiatus from other web-activity.

I was offered the possibility to co-write a book about eSports and I took the chance. I´ve been writing it and my own parts are almost done. I also decided to slow other things around to keep focus and not to go hyper-drive and get myself to the "noose" again. Keeping it simple. Family first, the job and good sleeping.

That keeps me in good shape. I continue the therapy. My therapist is very happy about my recovery and she asked me whether I want to continue to it or to stop it, and I decided to continue it until next august.

The gym traded my depression in for something good, a new addiction of sorts.

Thats good Jim, I've never been able to feel good or enjoy excercise despite the many many attempts ive made over the years.

I've actually not been taking my anti-depressants for about a month, mistake there im picking up my refills for them today, lately I have been feeling increasingly depressed , most things not interesting me anymore, just feeling bleh but I have been feeling this way even before i ran out of meds. I didn't consciously stop i just ran out and got lazy bout getting a refill.

on the plus side I have been making some dietary changes, but feeling discouraged there too, anyways Depression is very real and alive for me

I've been hit by the anxiety and depression the last few days. I have no idea why it comes on sometimes. My body just feels odd, I get lightheadedness, chills, sweats, etc. I wish I knew why.

Not to try and drive home anything, but I have taken myself off of my meds for approximately four months now. I have UBER-BAD days every couple months. But when I first joined the gym, I thought "OH GOD, I just threw away money". But I toughed it out the first week. I noticed a small difference. The next week, I was becoming excited for my every other day time in the gym. The first month went by and I was comfortable in my new addiction and my new "church" away from church. I am growing quite fond of the compliments, weight loss, strength, energy, and lack of pain and sadness that came with my workouts. When I moved to Ohio here, I was in a size 58 pants. I am down now to where my week old 46 pants are falling off, Had to order a web belt today from online. I have focus of mind and a drive to make my temple strong and clean. It's like God Himself fills the gym as my morning prayers comes with every set, rep, and machine/weight. I get more in tune with God at the gym than at Church sometimes. Anyway, this is how it is... Sorry it was so long but I am so excited about this and would urge everyone to give it a month and check out the difference!

Thats great panzer..Keep up the good work..Im proud of you.

Wow, that's great Jim!

Thanx my friends! now if I can just find a way to regrow my hair

Im glad you found something that works for ya

Everybodys different , different things will work for different people

Yea.

Panzer wrote:

Thanx my friends! now if I can just find a way to regrow my hair

Real men wear skin

This is what I keep telling myself. I started to lose hair under thirties and been baldhead since.

But keep up your gym. It sounds absolutely fantastic for you.

It is really just more than a "Jim" thing LOL. Working out is a scientific method that God programmed into our body for our benefit. It's sometimes hard to achieve that "afterglow" feeling after a good workout, but it IS possible and feels dang good LOL.
Endorphins and Depression.